The reasons why the world didn’t end on 21-12-12

lets get drunk

As you may have noticed, the world is not at its end. You may be pondering why this may have not occurred. Here are some of my suggestions…

tv DOCTOR WHO1. After time travelling back to the beginning of the Mayan calendar, Doctor Who attempted to speak to the Mayan elders to extend the end of the calendar to a much further date in time. He was unsuccessful and was accused of being a witch doctor. He tried to explain that he wasn’t a Doctor Which, but a Doctor Who. After convincing them to not treat him as a threat, he was able to compromise, and settled on an agreement. That at the end of the Mayan calendar a “to be cont.” sign was to be etched at the end. Scientists, if they were to re-study the Mayan calendar today, will find this statement, thanks to the Doctor.

Superhero2. A huge meteor was hurtling toward Earth, NASA people were freaking out (despite the many press releases stating otherwise). They called the man that is never to be spoken about publicly. His name, is Superman. Fiction? I think not! Unfortunately, the meteor was purposely laced with kryptonite by the alien beings who wanted to ruin Superman’s world. He was unable to stop the meteor in it’s path, so Iron Man, although a little drunk from his house party celebrating his updated Iron Man suit, was able to use his brain, his mind and his head too, making it possible with the use of various lasers and alcohol-induced decisions to divert the meteor. Phewph!

The world didn't end

Fail3. Having heard about the Mayans’ little plan about ending the Earth in 2012, Vianne, a girl who lived around the time of the invention of the Mayan calendar, decided that she had to do something. She was never welcome in the Mayan society because of her super powers that were shunned by the elders who never acknowledged her existence (which is why she can not be found in any Mayan history).

Vianne climbed up to the tallest tree on the tallest mountain and leapt! She flew higher and higher, through the clouds and out into space. She then flew around the earth millions of times a second like a string being wound up into a ball. She was able to fly so fast that the atmosphere began to be disturbed and a protective film or layer was created.

grumpy cat cakeA layer that we now call an ozone that protected Earth from the meteorite that was supposed to impoverish the Earth in December of 2012. Our ozone layer protects us against many things that would have damaged the world in Mayan times due to the world’s lack of ozone.

cheer-up-not-the-end-of-the-world-mayan-bar-comic4. Ever heard of the butterfly effect? Where the tiniest of changes made by the likes of a time traveller, perhaps the indiscriminate killing of a minuscule insect could change the future forever through a domino effect. Well, in fact, what actually happened to prevent the world from being wiped from existence in 2012 was a time traveller who travelled from the year 1750AD, back in time to the year 3114 BC.

Stepping out of his time machine that looked like a bowling ball, the time traveller realised that he forgot to install a hand break, and even worse than that, he had landed on a hill. Just as he opened the door, the time machine began to roll at an alarming rate toward a river.

engineering-fail-116Airborne, the machine continued falling down the gully and landed on the fast flowing river, landing with an unsatisfying splash like a ping-pong ball thrown into a swimming pool.  Now, I know what you’re thinking, you think I’m going to say that on the way down the hill the time machine squished something that had major repercussions on the distant future…

Although during it’s time travelling voyage, it’s technological outputs misguided many migrating Monarch butterflies. The Monarch butterflies used to migrate annually to southern Mexico from Canada for the fall, however, since the day that their migrating instincts were interfered with, they now fly to central Mexico, which is their annual habit even today…

Round calendarBut apart from that, in fact what happened was that as the spheric time machine rolled down the hill that was classed as “sacred” by the local native Mayan people of Southern Mexico. This was witnessed by a Mayan woman who had been put in charge of creating the Mayan Calendar. She had a rock canvas that was a rectangular shape and had begun carving the dates when suddenly a giant ball-like rock thing appeared in the distance and rolled down the sacred hill at an ever increasing speed, demolishing trees on the way.

Mesmerised by this sight, she realised that a rectangular canvas would not be inspirational or aesthetically pleasing enough, and a round rock would be required. Unfortunately, a round rock could not accommodate nearly as many dates, hence why she ran out of room by the time she got to the year 2012 rather that the previous date of 20012. Oops!


Let me know what your reasons are for the lack of a 2012 apocalypse.


About NZ Film Freak

I am a journalism graduate (2014) from New Zealand. Currently working in marketing, and writing fiction in my spare time. I love to write about movies on this blog when I can. I also do paid reviews and voiceovers via Fiverr (nzfilmfreak).
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